After watching our last film - Tristan Taromino's Expert Guide to Oral Sex Part 1: Cunnilingus, I set about doing my homework. Occasionally when sipping nectar from the bearded rose (as Shakespeare put it), one needs a little extra nectar. Especially when adding some finger or toy insertion to the mix. Normally, we would whip out the lube but the one problem with many lubes is that when oral sex is involved, well, they aren't exactly what you would call taste sensations are they? Let's be honest, most of them taste pretty lousy. Even the best of them just taste kind of sweet. Not exactly an incentive to splash them about when applying a tongue to the same area.
To help overcome the taste issue we decided to try out a few flavoured lubes. One quick trip to our local lube emporium later and we had a selection to try. The first one we opened (look out for the rest of the reviews in coming weeks) was Astroglide Sensual Strawberry. This is, as you might imagine from the name, a strawberry-flavoured lube. And it does taste, kind of like strawberry, in a weird artificial strawberry kind of way. It smells super sweet and really nothing like any sort of smell I have smelled coming from an actual strawberry. It's not unpleasant. Not exactly like biting into a luscious red berry though and it is very, very sweet. I'm certainly not going to be eating this one with a spoon but it's definitely an improvement on the taste of most unflavoured lubes. How did it perform as a lube though? We put it through our standard tests to find out.
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Regular readers will know that we were a little disappointed last week when what we thought was a Tristan Taormino production turned out to be Seymore Butts' House of Ass (II). To make up for our disappointment, Dave got hold of Tristan's Expert Guide to Oral Sex, Part 1: Cunnilingus, and put that on for our enjoyment and edification.
We've reviewed many of Tristan's fine productions in the past (Expert Guide to the G-Spot, Expert Guide to Female Orgasms, The Expert Guide to Anal Sex, The Expert Guide to Anal Pleasure for Men) and I make no secret of the fact that I have a girl-crush on her. I am decidedly straight, but if I was going to turn for anyone it would be Tristan. So I was quite looking forward to watching this. Tristan explains things really well, and her work is top-quality. Imagine my disappointment when the presenter was not Tristan, but someone else instead. Although this is a Tristan production (on her Smart Ass label, through Vivid_Ed in 2007), the presenter was Justine Joli.
We do try to provide you, our reader with a little variety in the porn we review. This something of a challenge as the porn industry is not exactly known for its originality. At the moment, the porn industry seems to think that all the viewing public wants to see in a high end feature is a parody porn starring Evan Stone. Having reviewed a bunch of parody porns starring Evan Stone, and being fairly sick of parody porn starring Evan Stone, we really did try not to review another one. We failed.
This Ain't Ghostbusters is yet another in Hustler's very successful "This Ain't" parody series. And yes, it does indeed star Evan Stone as Peter Venkman. Alongside Alec Knight (Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to the G-Spot ) as Ray Stantz and James Deen (Batman XXX, Sanatorium) as Egon Spengler. I have to say, the casting was pretty good and the three of them do look quite convincing. This one is directed by Axel Braun (Batman XXX, Axel Braun's Squirting 101 Episode 1). We have reviewed a Ghostbusters parody before, the appalling Sex Busters, but after the excellent job Axel did with his Batman parody, we had high hopes for this one (well... we were pretty sure it wouldn't suck too badly).
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Recently we sat down to watch House of Ass (II), released in 2005 by Seymore Butts (Squirters 2). Now long-time readers will know that I am not a huge fan of anal, particularly anal-fests such as Mr Butts is (in)famous for. Actually, we hadn't set out to watch this one at all. Instead we thought we were going to be watching Tristan's House Of Ass - another fine production from Tristan Taormino (whom I have something of a girl-crush on). Unfortunately when Dave saw the title on the VOD site he was using, he only paid attention to the title when he grabbed it, and not to the detail. How was he to know that there are around 400 films called House of Ass? Still, he'd gone ahead and paid for the damn thing, so we had to watch it.
House of Ass is a typical Seymore Butts gonzo anal fest. I'm also not a fan of the gonzo-style of movie; they are simply self-indulgent on the part of the cameraman, and many of them contain scenes that would be all the better for having been removed from the film completely. This is a case in point. We did not need the POV footage of Seymore surfing for porn on his computer while on the phone to an irate caller. And the (long) scene where Seymore was supposedly on the toilet suffering from explosive diarrhoea was not only unnecessary but not funny either. Neither advanced the "plot" of the movie and to be honest, seemed fairly pointless, unless it was to prove that it was POV stuff. Thank goodness they were the only such scenes in this production.
The other night, when we sat down to watch our regular weekly porn, we were both sick and tired and not in the mood for anything either long or challenging. That saw us dig out one of our old keepers from back in the VHS days - Night Trips. Before you freak out, don't worry, it's readily available on DVD.
Anyway, Night Trips is an old film, released in 1989 and directed by the much maligned-by-us Andrew Blake. "Oh no," we thought, "not another Andrew Blake. And he even co-wrote this one!". As Dave has mentioned before, it's difficult to find much high-end stuff from that era that wasn't directed by him. This film however, despite its bizarre story, doesn't feature the wafty soft-focus shots and odd cuts that Mr Blake so loved in his later films. According to Wikipedia, this was his second feature, so he hadn't had a chance to get really wafty at that point. Astonishingly, none of his films actually have their own Wikipedia entries.
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