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Us Reviewing Things

Bordello

When our last dive into the to-be-watched pile turned up Bordello - The House of the Rising Sun from 1983, we didn't hold out much hope for it. Our experiences with 80s porn to date have not been that good. The last 80s porn we watched was Panty Raid which was a singularly awful film. However, we gritted our teeth, lowered our expectations and popped it into the player. I have to say, we were pleasantly surprised.

Bordello is set, obviously, in a Bordello. In New Orleans. Since The Animals' 1964 hit "House of The Rising Sun", every bordello in every film set in New Orleans is called The House Of The Rising Sun. The song by the way is much, much older than The Animals version. They got it from an old 1940s Lead Belly recording and before him it was a traditional folk song going way, way back. Everyone assumes it's about a New Orleans brothel but historians have been searching for the historical House of the Rising Sun for years (yes... government grants to go looking for brothels) and have come up pretty much empty handed. There have been plenty of Houses of the Rising Sun since the song became a hit but before that, the closest they can find was a French Madam back in the 1800s called Marianne LeSoleil Levant, which translates from the French as "Marianne The Rising Sun". Current theory says that the song isn't about a brothel at all but about the the old Orleans Parish Women's Prison, the entrance to which was decorated with a rising sun design. There you go... porn and education all at once.

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Pink Unity

Next in our series of lube reviews is Pink Unity, from the same people who brought us Pink Water - Empowered Products.

Pink Unity is a hybrid silicone lube. That is, it is a blend of silicone and water based lubes. The advertising blurb claims that it has a "thick, satiny smooth gel formula" and "slickness of silicone, ease and convenience of water". All good, it also claimed to be non-staining and glycerin and paraben free (that's good because I discovered later that Pink Water had some parabens in it, which I didn't realise when I bought it). How they managed to blend oil and water, I couldn't imagine, but I thought it was worth a try.

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Glampuss Bikini Line Colour

I have pink pubes!

Perhaps I should explain that statement further...

In our never-ending quest for review fodder, we have watched crap porn, tried toys, both good and bad, and now I have dyed my pubes. In searching for organic lubes (see the Pink Water review), I stumbled upon an organic pubic hair dye, Glampuss Bikini Line Colour, made by MiniKINI Ltd in the UK. My first reaction was shocked disbelief, but on re-reading it, I got interested.

Oh, and I should point out here, that you shouldn't be reading this site at work. It's never safe for work and this review is, in particular, not safe - there are photos after the jump!

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