I hate the moral minority. You know the people I'm talking about. That small but very vocal group who get outraged at rude words on TV, nipples during Superbowl, you know really serious, weighty issues that will bring civilisation crashing down on top of us unless something is done.
In NSW, when I talk about the Moral Minority, I'm talking about a guy called Rev Fred Nile. He's like one of your US-style right-wing religious wingnuts only worse. In Australia, most of these types are based in our state of Queensland but this one seems to have slipped the net somehow and ended up in NSW. He's managed to get himself elected to the senate here for the last 400 years or so. I think the only thing keeping him alive is sheer force of moral outrage.
We have a huge gay pride event here in Sydney every year. It's the biggest in the world (true). It's been running for over 30 years. Every year Rev Fred gets outraged about it, demands that it be banned and when it isn't, he prays for rain. Every year he and his followers pray for rain. And every year (bar one I think) the sun shines.Now this demented wingnut has noticed that people *gasp* bathe topless at Sydney beaches! They aren't wearing their neck to knee bathers any more! What's worse some of them are women! A child might see a woman's nipple! Something must be done! Actually, this time Rev Fred is concerned that Muslims might be offended. This is the first time Rev Fred has ever been concerned that Muslims might be offended. Usually it's Rev Fred doing the offending, by demanding that they all be put on boats and shipped back to where they came from.
Yes, that's right, the Right Dishonourable, Reverend Fred Nile is drumming up support to ban topless bathing at Sydney beaches. What's worse, some members of the NSW government (who have a very shaky hold on power and need his support to get legislation through the senate) seem to be falling into line behind him and making concerned noises about protecting the children from such obscene displays.
Frankly, if a woman wants to whip her top off that the beach (or anywhere else, for that matter) more power to her. I'm allowed to walk around with my shirt off anywhere I like, exposing innocent eyes to the sight of my pale, hairy, weedy physique, so why shouldn't women be allowed to do the same. If my kids see an exposed nipple, so what? They saw enough of them while they were breastfeeding (actually, more than I saw of them at that stage) that I really don't think it will harm them.
We, the Immoral Majority need to start telling these idiots to pull their heads in and shut up. We need to get over our embarasment and declare - we like nipples, we like nudity, we like porn, and gay people and breastfeeding in public, and rude words on TV, and all those other things these dickheads get all worked up about. We like them all and want you to get your filthy hands off them. What's more, there are lots more of us than there are of you, so rack off.
