Us Reviewing Things

Regular readers will know by now that I am a geek. For geeks of a certain vintage, one movie stands above all others as a symbol of our geekiness. That movie is Tron. Not the new Tron, the old, 80s Tron, where all the "computer effects" were hand drawn on film because computer animation was too expensive to use (actually there are about 30 seconds of real computer animation in the original Tron, the solar sailor is real CG, the rest is good old-fashioned matte painting, rotoscoping and film compositing). Knowing my love for the old Tron, and views on porn parodies, it was with some trepidation that Mrs Dave put PRON: the XXX Parody into the player.

I have to give them full marks for the title. That's clever. Obvious but still clever. Lee Roy Meyers, of Human Sexipede fame was one of the directors, so we had high hopes there. The film starts well too, Fling (Anthony Rosano, last seen by us in Bonny & Clide and Sex Files) who runs Fling's XXX Arcade, is trying to hack into a computer system to dig up evidence that his ex-boss stole his amazing sex toy designs (for those too young to know this, in the original Flynn, who runs Flynn's Video Arcade, is trying to hack into a computer system to dig up evidence that his ex-boss stole his amazing video game designs). Fling's interrogation program (also played by Anthony Rosano) is "interrogating" another program (April O'Neil). Vigorously. In full glowing Tron costume. Cool. Sadly, that was as cool as the film got.

After our experiences with new porn over the last few months we have been somewhat reluctant to investigate the newer mainstream titles in our to be watched pile. Most of the new porn we have watched has been overly long and astonishingly dull. After a run of classics though we were in danger of turning URT into a classics only site so we gritted our teeth and pulled a random new porn off the pile. The cover was encouraging. For a start it was't a parody. I know! Amazing! An actual, original idea!

Our random selection was the Flying Pink Pig, directed by Erica McLean (ex-star and now freelance director). The titular Flying Pink Pig is an upmarket catering van (the sort you see on building sites at lunchtime) only this one is staffed with young hotties (let me assure you, most of the real ones are not) and serves food laced with a secret aphrodisiac. Apparently the van is actually a real catering van in the LA area that they borrowed for the shoot. This film made the news last year when it was shot when the owners of the real Flying Pig first gave permission for the truck to be used, then withdrew permission before release and the whole thing ended up in court. Anyway, the Pink Pig (movie version) is owned by Sunny Lane (last seen by us in The Human Sexipede) and run by her and a bevvy of young hotties. An evil businessman (Ron Jeremy... fortunately in a non-sex role) wants the business and hires Nicki Hunter to infiltrate the business and help him take over (OK.. it's not that original an idea but it's not a parody).