We often talk about the classic days of porn, and how much of it (note, not all) was better than more recent offerings, but we recently realised that, although we've watched a lot of classics, we haven't actually reviewed all that we have watched. We were watching them long before this site was even thought of. So, get ready for quite a few reviews of classics in the next few weeks.
Last night we watched Barbara Broadcast, and not for the first time. This was one we picked up years ago, in fact, back when we were first buying porn, and we have watched it on two or three previous occasions. This came out in 1977 and stars Annette Haven (SexWorld, A Thousand and One Erotic Nights, Autobiography of a Flea) as Barbara Broadcast and CJ Laing (Anyone But My Husband) as Roberta the Reporter.
The film opens in a huge, up-market restaurant in New York where the menu is, shall we say, interesting. A bearded patron (Zebedy Colt, from The Devil Inside Her) gestures for a waitress (Clea Carson), points to a menu item, she promptly climbs up on the table, hitching her skirt as she goes. He then goes down on her, munching as though his life depends on it. This is a restaurant where sex is on the menu, and no limit to the varieties. While patrons either munch on, or are munched on by, the staff, Roberta is interviewing Barbara Broadcast, a hooker-turned-author, who has apparently been deported from her native Puerto Rico as a threat to society. Having been accosted by two women seeking autographs, they are next disturbed by two men, one who asks if Barbara will sign an autograph and blow his shy brother, who is a fan (David Savage). After that interruption, Barbara advises Roberta that a friend of hers, Joyce (Shirley Peters) will be joining them, and pre-orders for her. A salad with jizz dressing, kindly provided by their waiter, Peter Andrews. The women meet up, then Joyce departs, shagging Alan Marlow on her way out of the restaurant.
There's a twist in this restaurant; whenever a breakage occurs, the person involved has to blow the very modestly endowed maitre d' (Bobby Astyr). First it's the waitress we saw ealier, Clea Carson, then one of the patrons (Carry Graham), then later on a couple of waitresses (Clea Carson again and Sharon Mitchell). That restaurant must have huge breakage bills! Then the women get interrupted by another patron (Suzanne McBain) asking if she can blow their waiter (Peter Andrews) as hers has disappeared. Roberta joins in, although to be honest, her help was limited. Poor Roberta, her interview is then terminated by Barbara announcing that she has to take an important call. She tells Roberta to give her regards to the chef and departs. We see her traipsing through New York to her client, Michael Gaunt. I'm not sure if he is meant to be a medical specialist or an unspecified office executive, but whoever he is, he thinks he's important enough to keep his clients/patients waiting (much to the disgust of his secretary) while he and Barbara have their liaison. All over the furniture, but keeping most of their clothing on, so that he only has to do up his pants and adjust his waistcoat at the end to carry on with his work.
While Barbara is servicing her client, Roberta the Reporter goes to the kitchen in search of the chef. There she finds a hot and sweaty half-naked kitchen worker (Wade Nichols) with a superb 70s porn moustache. For some reason, she decides to pee in a large metal basin on the floor. In a kitchen. I'm sorry, but this is the one spot where this film loses me. We have two kids. I've dealt with lots of pee in the wrong places over the years, and "water sports" aren't my thing. Anyway, for some reason, they both find this a turn-on and they proceed to get hotter and sweatier together on the kitchen bench. Fortunately no more pee involved, just lots of hot sex.
Later on, Roberta meets Barbara in a disco. They share a joint, dance and then start eating one another on the staircase into the disco. They are joined by Curly (Jamie Gillis, New Wave Hookers) who (after they've had sex) it turns out is a friend/colleague of Barbara. They comment about the Protestant American Princess (PAP) they had working for them and mention what a bitch she was, then we see Jamie taking the PAP (Constance Money) on in a flash back that contains some mild spanking in addition to the sex. There is a rumour in the trivia for this film on IMDB that this scene was actually cut from The Opening of Misty Beethoven and left until it was used in Barbara Broadcast a few years later, which has been repeated in other reviews for this film. I don't know whether it is true or not.
What did I like about this movie? Well the music wasn't bad, although in some spots it was a little loud, and passages of music got repeated. That was fine until I realised that I'd heard a muzak rendition of "Scarborough Fair" two or three times. Like much of 70s porn, the women's orgasms weren't focussed on as much (although some definitely appered to cum or at least thrashed their heads wildly from side to side which is how the female orgasm is depicted in 70s porn). The sex was pretty good though, and it was nice to see the men going back to give the women some more cock after they'd done their money shots. It's not nice to be left high and dry when your partner has already cum. Reading back, it is essentially a series of sex scenes woven together to make a film. The film opens with the words "based on a true fantasy" and that's just what it feels like. This is someone's sex dream. A strange, "spicy food and too much cheese, late at night" kind of sex dream, written down and turned into a movie. While we've criticised movies made from a bunch of scenes strung together in the past, here there is a plot (if a slightly surreal one) to link the scenes, so there is a point to the man getting the blow job or the woman getting eaten. The sex fits naturally in its places. There is a reasonable amount of humour in the film to help carry it, and it is a rather arty film (without being art-house) as well.
Even after the 15+ years that we've been watching porn, this one is still one worth digging out occasionally, and is definitely a keeper.
You can buy Barbara Broadcast here through Uncut DVDs in Australia.
