Quite some time back, Dave did a review of Nina Hartley's Guide to Better Fellatio - Woodworking 101, gave it a rather ho-hum review, and gave me a ringing endorsement as being better at giving head than Nina Hartley. While that was extremely flattering to me, it left one half of oral sex completely untouched. In order to address this oversight, the other night we put on another of Nina's offerings: Nina Hartley's Guide to Better Cunnilingus - Under the Hood. This was also put out in 1994 by Adam & Eve, and like the previous one, has suffered slightly at the hands of time regarding fashions and hair.
Nina opens her instructional video in an astonishingly coloured (day-glo green) leotard - long sleeves but cut with (I think) a thong back and a black belt over it. Dave noticed that it was see-through at the top, so that her nipples were visible. And big hair. To be honest, I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd been wearing leg-warmers and gym shoes. She really looked like she'd stepped out of Olivia Newton-John's Physical video clip from about 10 years earlier! In fairness to Nina however, we persevered (once we'd stopped laughing) and continued watching it.
I have to say, it doesn't start well, with Nina standing behind a lectern and obviously referring to notes while delivering her talk to camera. However, once she moved away from the lectern to start explaining the anatomy of the female genitalia, she did much better. She interspersed her talk with little snippets about her own personal life, which did make her seem a little more human. Having owned a pussy for all of my life, I have to admit I did learn a few bits that I don't remember ever having been covered in sex ed classes at school. Anyway, then she brought out her prop - a pussy puppet! We both dissolved into uncontrollable laughter again at this point, but I have to say, it made it much easier to see the bits she was describing, as this thing was so much bigger than life size (seriously, the size of a small cat).
Then she went on to show slides (in those pre-PowerPoint days) of various vulvas (vulvae?), some open, some closed. Fortunately none diseased.
Next, on to the demonstration. Nina (in different clothes, that had her nipples poking out) introduced us to a woman hanging around in a swing, Angela Faith, and demonstrated a few warm-up techniques, but didn't go for a munch. Now this is where things took a slightly different turn than the Fellatio guide - she brought her husband David onto the set, as he is apparently the first (or only) man who has managed to get her off through cunnilingus, or he's the best (in her wide experience) or something like that. I don't know whether poor David was nervous, or just not very good on camera, but he was obviously reading an auto-cue off to the side of the camera, so never looked into it. He gave a bit of a spiel about his experiences and some tips, demonstrated a few bits on the dangling Angela (whom he had, apparently, met before), then moved off.
Then we had Moose come on to actually perform on Angela. He did a sterling job, while Nina stood at Angela's head, playing with Angela's nipples, but also giving a running commentary on what Moose was doing to Angela. I found that a little distracting, and from the look on her face, so did Angela. After a while, she seemed to manage to ignore Nina and just concentrate on what Moose was doing, and came. And then came again. And possibly again; I can't remember now.
Then we switched back to Nina in day-glo green telling us that we should share our fantasies with our partners, and that we were about to see one of hers (that also had some basis in fact). Two women on a train to Paris (or somewhere), one speaking only English, the other only French (Nina proving that she can not only speak French but also maintain it while cumming). Nina moves on Angela but ends up being munched on herself. Then it's Angela's turn, but at this point Nina brings out a dildo and reveals that she can speak English after all). Another orgasm ensues for Angela (she squeaks loudly).
Back to Nina in the leotard explaining that even without a common language, cunnilingus can lead to better understanding between people. End of film.
So, was it worth it? Well, if you'd never done (or had it done) before, it would be a good idea to watch it, but for those of us who have been doing it for years, it didn't add much in the technique stakes (lick around the clit, start slow and stick a few fingers in). And Nina didn't mention something which is (in my opinion) extremely important. Guys, stubble hurts! Prickles in the crotch aren't nice when they are attached to us, and when they are attached to someone else's face, it's even worse. Dave (my Dave) is clean-shaven, so I can't comment on beards. I've been told that the longer the hair is, the softer it is. But if he hasn't shaved for a few days over the weekend, I won't let Dave go down on me. It hurts too much, particularly when I start grinding against his face.
I've since found out that both this and the Guide to Better Fellatio are both combined in Nina Hartley's Guide to Oral Sex, so if you aren interested in getting hold of this title, you should probably get that, rather than two separate titles.
So there you are. If you are a beginner, watch this for some fairly good advice. But watch out for stubble.
