Well folks, the infamous "to be watched" pile threw up another "classic" the other night - Rings of Passion from director Willie Creps in 1973 and re-released in 2005 by Video-X-Pix. I use the term "classic" loosely. It didn't suck by any means (although plenty of the actors did... quite literally), but it was not on par with the true classics like Resurrection of Eve. This film starred a few big names from the 70s including John Holmes (as Johnny Wadd, also in Autobiography of a Flea) and Sharon Thorpe (as Julie Holmes, also in Candy Stripers and SexWorld), but also some lesser-known actors such as Nina Fause (as Clair Stairlove). In fact, there's only eight major characters in the entire film.
Essentially, Clair (Nina Fause) is married to Phil (Tyler Reynolds as Phil Garde), Julie (Sharon Thorpe) is married to Pete (Peter Hand) and Monica (Laura Bourbon as Monica Tite) is single, looking for Mr Right (or at least, Mr Not Too Big), first in John (John Holmes) then later in David (Larry Games). All three girls are dissatisfied with their current sex lives. Clair and Julie feel unwanted by their husbands as neither has had sex for ages and both are frustrated. Phil just isn't interested and Pete's idea of foreplay is to say "roll over honey and let me fuck you in the ass". Monica can't cope with her current boyfriend John, as he is both too big to fuck and too big to suck.
After a small domestic between Clair and Phil, John fortuitously turns up at Clair's front door after Phil has left for work. He complains to her about how he and Monica have split up and Clair takes matters in hand (so to speak). Poor John Holmes. He had such a monster cock that they had to make a large point about how she could take it all, but others couldn't. And he had some rather funky copper cock rings that seemed to function as depth gauges. Well Clair certainly managed it all and also gave a fairly impressive blow job. I have to say here though, with her holding him in both hands, it really looked like she was chowing down on a man kebab! In the end, a pleasurable fuck is had by all. But that's the end of John Holmes for this movie (perhaps they couldn't afford him, or maybe his star hadn't risen at that point).
Over coffee, Julie reminisceses to Clair about a lesbian encounter she had years ago with Marcy (Veronica Pink) (a flash back ensues). Clair is intrigued but nothing happens. Instead they discuss Monica's new boyfriend David, who is a "keeper". Cue footage of Monica screwing said David in a fairly average scene.
While Phil and Pete go to a ball game, Julie and Clair go to the movies (after another flash back, this time of Julie and Pete). The girls go to a porno and end up back at Clair's house horny. They go to the spare room to fool around until time for the boys to get home. A fantastic time is had by all and they resolve to do it again soon. Unbeknownst to them, Phil and Pete are indeed at a ball game (so to speak) in the next room having oral sex (kind of explains a few things, doesn't it?). Finally Monica burst into the house to tell all that David has proposed to her and everyone finds out what everyone else has been doing to each other in a zany 70s sit-com kind of way.
Lots of natural boobs and bush in this film (in fact, for bush lovers, they'd be much better off with this instead of Full Grown Bush). Natural hair also, with both Julie and Monica being brunettes and Clair a true ash blonde. That was nice to see for a change. I get tired of seeing either flondes (fake blondes) or worse, brunettes with frosting, all the time. Porn still had variety in performers at this stage. To be brutally honest, none of the men did anything for me. Although we never actually got to see David's face - it was either buried in Monica's groin, or her neck. Oh, and there's even a cream pie. The music wasn't porn waka-waka, but instead muzak renditions of popular music, including quite a lot of Beatles material.
We've got the DVD copy of this, and unfortunately it has been copied straight from a degraded VHS copy, so there are spots in the movie where the fim breaks down badly. While the movie isn't good enough for it to have been remastered, it would have been nice if someone at Video-X-Pix had taken the time to cut out the breaks in the footage. Oh, and it was really rude that the Video-X-Pix logo appeared in the bottom right corner of the screen every time there was a scene change. Although it wasn't big, it was intrusive how it kept appearing and then disappearing. The info is all over the packaging, it doesn't need to be imposed on the film as well.
So there you have it, Rings of Passion. Not great but not bad either. Definitely aimed at couples. Would we watch it again? Probably. It's not worth paying heaps for, but if you can pick it up cheap, do so.
