Us Reviewing Things

Last in our set of Tristan Taormino reviews is her Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women 1, released by Evil Angel in 1999. This is the first movie which Tristan directed, and one which she had to convince John Stagliano (of Buttman notoriety) to help her make.

Rumour has it that The Expert Guide to Anal Sex is what Tristan was hoping to make with this movie, but as she required John Stagliano to make it happen, what she got was this instead. It is completely different to The Expert Guide to Anal Sex. I've not seen any other Buttman productions, so I can't comment on how typical it is. It is, however, not the sort of porn which appeals to me. The audio is badly done, there is a bad casting-couch type set-up between Tristan and Ruby, and most of the educational component has been removed for the porn to take its place. The flow of the movie is also disrupted with a full scene between Jazmine and Nacho Vidal being shown before a scene between Ava Vincent, Inari Vachs, Nina Hartley and Tristan Taormino, despite clearly taking place afterwards.

Back in the day, no one was making anal guides for women. Tristan wrote the book on the subject (literally – the multi- award winning “Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women”... available in all good book shops near you.. well maybe not... but still in print after 13 years) but as a porn-unknown, she needed Buttman to make this happen. I suspect she didn't have much creative control. It was ground-breaking stuff though and picked up a couple of AVN awards.

While Tristan does get to give some of her tips on how to have pleasurable anal sex, most of it was lost on the cutting room floor (or didn't get recorded in the first place). I'm also not a fan of the camera operator giving a running commentary on what's happening, or his hand suddenly appearing in the scene to pull pussy lips out of the way.

Yep.... there's something about gonzo porn and a “how to” guide that really doesn't mix. There was probably 20 minutes of “educational” material in the entire film. As usual for Tristan, what material there is is correct. She just doesn't get much of an opportunity. What was left in was obviously cut from a much longer session.

Chloe and Kyle Stone, performers who have done many anal scenes together, give separate rundowns on what they do and don't like about anal, and how to prepare for it. We even get to see Chloe being prepared with an enema (conducted by a bald guy in a fetish rubber apron and big black gloves). I was peeking through my fingers at the end, because I didn't want to see the end result of the enema, and it looked as though we were going to. Fortunately Dave was brave enough to watch and assured me that there was a fade to black instead. Her comment about getting ripped from cumming too hard was, frankly, scary. Chloe cums hard and often, but I would think that there are more comfortable places than on a bathroom floor.

The scene between Chandler and Sydnee Steele was OK, but again, the focus is on the sex, rather than the education. Then there is a scene between Ava Vincent, Inari Vachs and Tony Tedeschi. That one was more interesting as they had a camera and a TV screen set up, so the girls could watch themselves being buggered.

The scenes were your typical gonzo anal stuff. The performers spend about 30 minutes doing exactly what Tristan just told them not to – just jam the biggest thing you can find up someone's bum with a bit of spit for lube. Tristan hovered in the background trying to salvage something by being lube girl “are you sure you don't want some more lube?”. In the end, this was a Buttman production, not a Tristan one.

We end with what is virtually an orgy, where every single performer gets stuck into Tristan herself, either digitally, orally, or groin-ally. Even Buttman gets to stick his finger in her bum.

Poor Tristan... the things we do for our art...

I have to say, if this had been the first one we watched, I would never have consented to try, ever! The educational component is minimal to say the least, and while the sex may be well done, the audio and camera work lets it down.

If you are a gonzo fan you will find the educational bits boring. If you were after education you will find the gonzo off-putting. I don't think this one wins for anyone. It was a good try and launched Tristan as a director which allowed her to make this film again in the Expert Guide so I suppose some good came of it.

If you just want to watch other people having anal sex (and apparently enjoying it), go for it. If you want to learn how to have safe, comfortable anal sex, forget this and watch the Expert Guide to Anal Sex instead.

You can buy the Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women #1 here through Good Vibrations in the USA.