Us Reviewing Things

Last night the to be watched pile served up one of the oddest films we have seen in a long time. Possibly one of the oddest films we have seen ever - Café Flesh. Made in 1982, this was pretty groundbreaking stuff back then. Made right at the tail end of the "Golden Age" this was part sci-fi movie, part art-house and part hardcore porno. It was made by the same people that brought us the truly bizarre New Wave Hookers and while not quite as completely out there and bizarre as that one, Café Flesh is certainly not your ordinary porn.

Café Flesh is set five years after an nuclear war that has left 99% of the population as "sex negatives", they crave sex but the slightest touch from another person leaves them violently ill. It was implied, though never actually shown, that masturbation is also out of the question. But still they crave sex. Every night they pass through the huge airlock doors of Café Flesh to watch the lucky 1%, the positives, perform for them in a bizarre, highly stylised sex show.

Nick (Paul McGibbony) and Lana (Michelle Bauer) are two of the regulars at Café Flesh. Married just before the "nuclear kiss" that left them unable to touch each other any more, they come every night to watch and remember what it was like. Nick is growing tired of torturing himself every night but Lana still loves it and has even started helping the owner, Moms (Tantala Ray) backstage. Nick meanwhile is singled out for ridicule by the club MC, Max Melodramatic (Andy Nichols) until Moms steps in and reveals that Max is a positive... but impotent... the ultimate humiliation.

After the show, which consists of several acts including a woman dressed as a housewife, surrounded by grown men dressed as babies, fucking a milkman dressed as a rat and naked secretaries chanting "do you want me to take a memo" while fucking a be-suited gentleman with an over-sized pencil for a head (I did say it was bizarre), we meet the beautiful Angel (Marie Sharp) who has left her native town to see big city life. We also find that the "lucky 1%" may not be so lucky after all. The club is raided by the enforcers and Angel is arrested as a secret positive. You see, positives don't have a choice. They must perform, like it or not.

Next night at the club they gather to watch Angel's first performance with the infamous Johnny Rico (Kevin James) a big positive star who has been lured from a rival club. Nick reluctantly comes along but Lana is very excited and gets even more excited as she sees Johnny Rico ravishing Angel. Could Lana be hiding something?

Café Flesh is definitely not your average porno. There is far more plot than sex for a start and the sex that is there is strange, disjointed and disturbing. This is quite a dark and sinister film. More a Blade Runner-esque sci-fi film with sex in it than a straight porno. I am in no way comparing this to Blade Runner. To my (admittedly very geeky) mind, Blade Runner is one of the finest films ever made and Café Flesh is more of a B or C grade attempt. Nonetheless it is a good film. As a film. Story, acting, sets, costumes, all very good. As a porn though... well it depends on what you want. If you want some fucking to get off on, this is not for you. This is not a film to wank to. This is a sci-fi film that happens to have sex in it and should be watched as such.

You can buy Café Flesh here through Uncut DVDs in Australia.