After all the new porn that we have watched recently, we decided that it was time to review a classic again. This time it was Sodom and Gomorrah: The Last Seven Days, a biblical (yes, biblical porn does indeed exist) epic set during the last seven days of the corrupted city of Sodom in ancient Palestine.
Released in 1975, this is another Mitchell Brothers film, so we had high expectations after enjoying Autobiography of a Flea, Behind the Green Door and The Resurrection of Eve. After all, these are undoubted classics from the golden age of porn. Well made in every respect. The Mitchell Brother made some of the best classic porn films of the Golden Age. Unfortunately Sodom and Gomorrah wasn't one of them. This was a confusing mess of a film.
This had a huge cast and featured Thom Glardon as Lot (in a bad wig and beard) and Jacquie Brodie as his wife Milcah. Deborah Brast played the older daughter Leah, and Gina Fornelli as the younger daughter Sebe. We open with a dispute splitting the family and Lot, Milcah and daughters going towards the city of Sodom. They meet up with a farming family and the younger members of both families get together. Quite literally. In a tree. With hand-crushed olives providing "olive oil" to use as an anal lubricant because Sebe was a virgin. Cue a very funny scene where the cum shot actually falls in Lot's eye as he wanders underneath said tree. As he is led away by his friend, the branch breaks and the copulating couple fall out of their tree. Poor Lot, this is the closest he gets to a sex scene as his wife is a bitch.
After a series of events, the family ends up in Sodom, selling idols. One customer offers some cucumbers as an exchange for an idol and Mrs Lot ends up pleasuring herself with one of the cucumbers while being rogered in the bum by her prospective customer. See, in Sodom, the king, Bera (Sean Brancato) has decreed that no vaginal sex can take place until the drought eases. So everyone gets around that by having anal sex instead. It seems that there was no rule against masturbating with a cucumber though. Couples who are caught having vaginal sex are punished accordingly; men get their tackle rubbed with honey and then plunged into an ants' nest. The women have large tree branches shoved, fatally, up their vaginas. Nice.
OK, as it stands, this doesn't sound too bad. Violent? Yes. Graphic? Yes. But confusing? No. Not yet, anyway... We suddenly cut to a spaceship piloted by a dude and a talking chimp who talks like John Wayne (the chimp, not the guy). And apparently the chimp wants to destroy the Earth or something. Is it confusing now? You bet! But wait! There's More! In the spaceship, the guy is gazing at a woman in a glass box then rips apart the base of the glass box and fucks a plastic pipe before leaving to go down to earth.
Meanwhile, for whatever reason, Bera decides that the townspeople can have their annual orgy after all, including vaginal sex, but no cream-pies until the drought has broken. So they all have to cum in a cup instead. That someone planned to drink, but I'm not sure who. It's a good orgy, with alcohol, a fire eater, girls in a bubble bath and more. Leah gets taken in lieu of tax payments by Bera, who may or may not have wanted to screw her. Johnnie Keyes (Behind the Green Door, The Resurrection of Eve, SexWorld) features as Birsha, the King of Gomorrah in the orgy, that also features Sharon Thorpe (Candy Stripers 1, Rings of Passion and SexWorld) as a temple maiden. However, it loses its appeal when you realise that some of the key characters used body doubles for these scenes. Oh, and to add to the confusion, some women had big 70s bushes. Others had completely bald pussies. We couldn't work out why, but one was prepared for shaving. Perhaps it was married women, or the few who were allowed vaginal sex or something. We really couldn't tell.
The guy from the spaceship falls in love with Leah and rescues her before vanishing again, then the chimp blows the whole town up because "they were liberal assholes".
Like I said. Confusing. Mind you, it was the 70s and they had probably taken an enormous amount of LSD before making this so it probably made complete sense to them. To us however, it made no sense at all.
Other downsides? The cast is listed in alphabetical order, so unless you either recognise the person (like Johnnie Keyes) or you hear the character's name (like Lot), you've got virtually no chance of figuring out who plays what. Thank goodness for IMdb! This was an old VHS copy (faded colour and all), so I don't even know if it is available on DVD, but you know what? Don't bother looking. As we've noticed before, even in the golden age of porn, crap was still being produced.
