Ok, unless you have been living in a cave for the last few years, you will have heard of the Human Centipede. For those of you cave dwellers, this is a gore/horror film put out on 2010. Essentially a crazed German doctor decided to make a "human centipede" by joining three people together mouth to anus - you feed the front end then the rest have to.. well.. yes.. you get the picture. Very soon after the film was released, Lee Roy Meyers put out The Human Sexipede - the porn parody.
Knowing the content of the original, and knowing what the porn industry is capable of, I have to say that never have we placed a disk in the player with more trepidation than The Human Sexipede. I have to say though that we were pleasantly surprised. This parody is, for once, an actual parody. Played strictly for laughs. Harking back to the original film, Jenny and Lindsay (Danica Dillan and Sunny Lane, respectively) are travelling through Germany although in this case their aim is to screw as many German guys as possible.
Staying at the less-than-luxurious Hasselhoff Hotel, they temporarily abandon their search for German guys ("they all like their leather pants a little too much" according to one girl), they fuck each other instead in a reasonable lesbian scene. After answering an ad in Germany's equivalent of AdultFriendFinder, they end up at the house of Dr Heiter (Tom Byron) - a sex researcher who has a proposition for them...
I have to say here that Tom was superb in this. He played the creepy German doctor absolutely perfectly. Fantastic deadpan acting and stayed totally in character right through the whole film.
They wake up wearing surgical gowns and tied to beds in a basement. Horror film screams ensue until Dr Heiter reminds them that "zis is vot ve agreed to remember? You said you liked being tied up". "Oh yeah... silly us" reply the girls. Trust me, this was a lot funnier in the film than it is here when I write it down. The whole film is very cleverly done with scenes straight out of the original horror flick that turn into funny moments. Actual, real funny moments. In a porn. More amazing, the funny moments are actually supposed to be funny moments.
Anyway, after a flashback where Dr Heiter reveals why he got involved in sex research - he was fucking his girlfriend Marie (Amber Rayne, last seen by us in The 8th Day), cue flashback to sex scene (where Tom stayed in character the whole time... I couldn't have done it with Amber Rayne sucking my cock. He is a legend, and a far better man than I) and she wondered what it would be like to cum forever. He then dedicated his life to making that happen.
He is going to take the two girls and, at the moment of climax, join them to a guy via their sex organs. That way they can live a life of constant pleasure. We get introduced to our guy Katsuro (Keni Styles) who is here because his girlfriend Lana (Kaci Starr) doesn't want enough sex (cue another flashback). We also get a flashback to the Dr's failed attempt at sexipede making - Evan Stone, Jynx Maze and Jordan Ash fuck and at the moment of climax the doctor joins them only to discover that Evan has nipped off to the bathroom and missed the procedure.
Anyway, fucking happens and the sexipede is made. The film ends with the doctor laughing maniacally as the sexipede writhes on the floor in endless pleasure.
This was a really good film. A genuinely funny film. A true parody. The script and casting were spot on. The acting was great, especially from Tom. The sets and camerawork are great. The sex was good. This is definite must see. Even for those who haven't seen the original. Actually, don't bother with the original, see this instead.
You can buy The Human Sexipede here through Uncut DVDs in Australia.
