Every so often I have to travel for work so last weekend found me in a dreary hotel room in a dreary industrial suburb of a dreary city killing time before a dreary meeting the next day. Whenever I have to take trips like this I often take some smut along to give me something better to watch than the crap selection of movies the hotel offers. This time the random selection from my to be watched pile was Extreme Teens 5. I was given a copy of this one some time ago (so long ago that they are probably up to Extreme Teens 96 by now) and it always got pushed to the back of the stack by other stuff that looked better. This time I took pity on it, ignored the good looking stuff and grabbed this slightly dubious, cheesy looking porn for my evening's viewing. I wish I hadn't. This was really cheap porn. Cheap and nasty. Really nasty.
Let's get the basics out of the way first. This was a typical cheap 'teen' movie - take a bunch of 25-30 year olds with small boobs, dress them in school uniform, do their hair in pigtails, shave their snatches and maybe they can pass for 18 (as long as the light isn't too good). Team that up with crap dialogue (more on that later) and formulaic sex. This one had all of that in buckets full. What sets it apart from your run-of-the-mill cheap teen porn was the undercurrent of sheer creepy, nastiness that ran through all 4 of the scenes. Let me explain.
It started with scene 1. Some 25 year old chick in pigtails ended up having sex with a delivery guy. While they are going for it, he pulls out and starts jabbing at her ass. She says (very clearly) "No. Not in my ass". Undeterred, delivery dude keeps jabbing away so she says it again. And again... and again. This is real, old fashioned "yes means yes and no means keep going cos she really means yes" stuff. She eventually had to nearly yell at him to get him to take the hint. By this time he had worked his dick a good few inches into her ass so what does he do? Pulls it out and jams it straight back up her puss. I hope she had a good wash afterwards. Now I know it was probably all scripted and she really loves a bit of bum fun but it just looked nasty. I dunno. Maybe it was the dreary surroundings but that just disturbed me.
Moving on to scene 2, we had our new office intern being pressured into having sex so she could get the job. The sex was uninspired. The anal looked painful and the ass to mouth looked like it made her want to hurl. I was getting pretty creeped out by this point but thought "I'll keep watching... it can't get any worse". Oh really?
Scene 3. Two chicks talking on the phone dressed in school uniform/pigtails. After a while chick 1's study partner turns up and the following scintillating dialogue occurs -
Chick 1 - "Hi."
Dude - "Lets study for the biology exam tomorrow"
Chick 1 - "where are your books"
Dude - "Oh.. I don't have any. Where are yours"
Chick 1 - "Oh. I don't have any either."
Dude - "I really need to pass for my scholarship.. I am the star quarterback after all"
I will interrupt the dialogue here to observe that, although I am no expert in American football, even I know that the qualities required for a star college quarterback are not likely to include - being 5 foot nothing, 45 and pudgy.
Dude - "I know. You'll have to take one for the team and fuck the coach. He's on the exam board. Lets see how good you are"
Wow. Shakespeare. With a dash of Chaucer and a hint of the metaphysical poets I fancy. Anyway some fairly ordinary sex occurs. Sadly, this was the high point in the movie.
In the mean time chick 2 is fiddling with herself on the lounge when a fat, bald, old dude wanders in and introduces himself as "a friend of your father's". Naturally, they end up fucking. After all, its a daughter's duty to show hospitality by letting any old dude that says they know their dad fuck them in the ass. The whole unsubtle suggestion of underage sex - "are you sure you're 18.. I am... I promise...giggle" just served to creep me out even further. At least she looked like she was enjoying it.
The same couldn't be said for scene 4 where chick is walking along the street when the "neighbourhood bully" basically grabs her, drags her inside and forces her to have sex. He fucks her roughly in the ass (to her obvious discomfort) and makes her do an ass to mouth during which she looks like she's about to either hurl or bite his dick off. Or both. Sadly, he escapes with his dick intact.
This is the worst kind of badly-made, exploitative, nasty, child-abuse fantasy stuff I have ever seen. It probably ranks as the worst porn of any kind I have ever seen. Even the German enema fetish video I watched by mistake once was good compared to this.
I feel dirty. I need a shower. Where's the bleach....
Anyone seen the wire brush? My eyes need a clean.
