Alice in Wonderland came out in 1976 and is another classic 70s porn. But this time, it's a musical!
Alice (Kristine DeBell, who later moved into mainstream TV and films) is a shy librarian, who won't have sex with her boyfriend, William (Ron Nelson), because "nice girls" don't do it before marriage. They argue about it, he storms off furiously, and she's left singing about how life is passing her by. Somehow she ends up in Wonderland, wearing what had been her pocket handkerchief as a dress and chasing the White Rabbit (Jerry Spelman). While in pursuit, she ends up falling into a lake where she is rescued by three cat-like beings. They teach her, while licking her dry, that if something feels good, it usually is good (although no sex actually occurs). Eventually she decides that she must leave them and they give her a parting gift of a "dress", a filmy garment that, while passing over her breasts and providing a skirt over her groin, does nothing to actually hide them.
She leaves, and in the course of her travels, sits on the edge of a babbling brook to cool off and has a grope at the same time (because if it feels good it must be good). However, that never gets to fruition as the White Rabbit goes past and she's shy that he may have seen her at it.
The next person she meets in Humpty Dumpty (Bradford Armdexter) who not only has fallen off his wall, but can't "get his ding-a-ling up" according to the song that the two nurses (Terri Hall and Nancy Dare) dance around singing. (For what it's worth, this was undoubtedly the most irritating song in the whole film.) Alice gently masturbates him, while telling him what a nice man he is, and succeeds in getting his "ding-a-ling up", just in time for another chorus of that annoying song.
Alice travels on, meeting up with the Mad Hatter (Alan Novak), who flops his penis in her face and demands a blow job. Alice happily complies with this "request", and performs a very impressive blow job for a rank beginner.
In the course of her travels, she meets up with Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee, two lovers, who are totally and utterly besotted with one another (turns out later, in an icky moment, that they are brother and sister, ewwww!). She meets the Black Knight (Bruce Finklesteen) who is shagging Gila Havana, much to Alice's dismay that a nice girl would be doing "dirty things" with the Black Knight. She moves on through Wonderland and ends up taking the fancy of the King of Hearts (John Lawrence). They are busy getting "intimately acquainted" when the Queen of Hearts (Juliet Graham) turns up. She's a lesbian dominatrix, so forces Alice into some serious muff-munching. Oh, and there were some seriously cheesy song-and-dance routines in the mix there as well.
Alice escapes from the Queen, and ends up with the the entire cast chasing after her. The cat-like creatures she first encountered help her back in to the lake and home to reality.
William finds her in a right state, and they end up having sex (Alice having been a "good girl" and not actually having penetrative sex with anyone else in the entire film). They marry and live "happily ever after" in her dream cottage with the white picket fence and the hoard of children.
Right, that's the plot done. Now down to the nitty-gritty of it. Dave and I saw this years ago, back when we were making our first forays into the world of porn, and we saw the R-rated version (no penises, no penetration). The songs have not improved in quality over the intervening years, and were just as cheesy as we remembered. What we saw last night was the X-rated version, and we could tell where the X rated footage had been sliced in - the X rated scenes had a slight yellow cast to them for whatever reason, be it film deterioration, editing or lighting.
Costuming was good, cast was good, script was good (except for the end, which was a bit weak), just the musical parts were difficult to cope with (oh, so cheesy). This film has some erotic parts, but you are more likely to be giggling insanely than fooling around while watching it. It was a very silly, 70's porno musical. What more can I say.
I personally don't think it's a keeper, but it's certainly fun to watch once.
