Today we take a trip back to 1974 to have a look at the classic Flesh Gordon. A campy, science fiction extravaganza. I should warn you now - this review is being written by a self-confessed science fiction geek. Extreme amounts of useless trivia may result.
Frequent viewers of porn will no doubt be familiar with the concept of the porn send-up. A porno re-make of a mainstream movie or TV show. There have been some notable examples over the years but probably none quite as notable as Flesh Gordon. Flesh was the first, the original, porn send-up. Edward Penishands, Sex Trek, Porn Wars, they all owe their existence to Flesh Gordon.
Flesh is obviously a send up of the incredibly popular Flash Gordon, hero of comic book, movie serial and TV show since 1934. Specifically though, this is based on the very popular 1930's and 40's movie serials (starring Buster Crabbe as Flash). Rumour has it that, as a bit of an in-joke, some of the scenes in Flesh are direct copies of similar scenes in the old serials. Right down to the positioning of the actors on the set (I told you there was going to be useless trivia but you didn't listen).
Flash, as older readers may know (though I have heard somewhere that the comic is still running... in which case Flash must be pushing 90 by now and getting a bit old for saving the galaxy) travels the galaxy, saving the Earth form the evil Emperor Ming the Merciless who, in the original series tried to destroy the Earth with fiery meteors from the planet Mongo. Flash, with his trusty companions Dale Arden and Hans Zarkov battle evil, defeat monsters and eventually emerge victorious.
Likewise our hero, Flesh, aided by his companions Dale Ardour and Flexi Jerkof (ahh yes.. cheap single entendres.. they never get old do they?) must travel to the planet Porno to do battle with the evil Emperor Wang the Perverted and save the earth from Wang's diabolical Sex Ray that has turned the surface of the Earth into one big orgy. Quite why we need saving from that I don't know, but anyway, Flesh, Dale and Flexi battle monsters, take their clothes off a lot (well at least Dale does), generally do heroic things and eventually, as all good heroes do, emerge victorious.
The one thing they don't do though is have sex. Not on camera anyway. There is plenty of nudity (mostly partial) and some simulated sex, but for a film that is regarded as one of the most famous porns ever, there is no actual on-screen sex. That's right - Flesh Gordon is a soft core. Barely warranting an R rating. I would classify it as more of a burlesque than a porn. It does though, have some of the funniest lines ever delivered in an adult film and is worth watching just for that.
If you are looking for a porn, then Flesh probably isn't for you. If you want a campy, funny, science fiction romp with added nudity then Flesh is the movie for you. Its also good for science fiction tragics like me.
