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Us Reviewing Things

Little Girls Blue

Another classic for you this week. Little Girls Blue, released in 1977 and starring Casey Winters, Elaine Wells and Tamara Morgan. This one appears on a lot of classic porn must watch lists so we had high hopes. We haven't watched much porn lately so we were looking forward to a good bit of classic fucking. Unfortunately, this wasn't really the right movie for the mood.

Little Girls Blue is another film that would never get made these days. It details the goings on in a very exclusive (and apparently very oversexed) private girls' school. Nowdays of course it would have to be set in an exclusive women-only college or something, but back then schoolgirls were fair game in porn. Now I can remember having crushes on male teachers, but I never fantasised about going down on them, particularly not while sitting in lessons with said teacher. Perhaps some of my classes would have been more interesting if I had...

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Fantasy Made Flesh: The Essential Guide to Erotic Roleplay

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Another book review for you this week - "Fantasy Made Flesh: The Essential Guide to Erotic Roleplay" by Deborah Addington. This is a book that turned up in our Xmas box from the Professor, and I confess, not one that I would have purchased. We haven't felt the need to add erotic roleplay to our repertoire; there's the time involved at the end of a long day, there's the lack of child minding to ensure that we don't get interrupted at a crucial moment ("Dad, why does Mum have a blindfold and an apron on? She did the washing up earlier."). You get the picture.

Anyhow, I started reading, in an attempt to find out what we've been missing. Now I'll be honest here, I'm not much into self-help books, and anything that refers to the "Self" and the "Other" (with capitals) usually leaves me cold. The first five chapters of this book relate to giving oneself permission to indulge in silliness and fantasy, and helping the reader to identify their boundaries and whether or not they can be pushed. There are even exercises to do. I really found this section of the book hard going. While the author's work is very worthy, it is fairly heavy going to read.

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Porn Wars

Some of you long-time readers may know that I am something of a Star Wars fan. By fan I mean "complete obsessive" of course. So when Private Gold 81 - Porn Wars came into our possession, it just had to go straight to the top of the pile. Yes, that's right. The good folk at Private have brought us Star Wars porn. Well not quite Star Wars of course. Lucas Film have a far bigger legal budget than Private, so they did have to make a few changes to avoid getting the force sued out of them. In Porn Wars we follow the adventures of a bunch of Jodi Knights (I'm not entirely sure that they made quite enough changes to avoid having the force sued out of them... one letter probably isn't going to keep the lawyers happy) who are protecting the galaxy from some evil guys who remain nameless, probably for copyright reasons.

The action begins (after the obligatory scrolling text explaining the story - another black mark from the lawyers there) in a Jodi training school. I have to say here that they put an amazing amount of effort into the special effects on this film. They did the lightsabre effects pretty well. Except in the opening training school scenes where I think the sound effects all just go too much for them and they left the lightsabres going "clack" rather than "voom". After training, one young Jodi uses his force powers to rip the robe off another, very well-endowed young Jodi (come on... if you had amazing force powers, tell me you wouldn't use them to have sex). Cue the first sex scene. Cue also our discovery of the big downside to this film. As she stands there naked, she opens her mouth and out comes "Loooook vot you deeed". The first, and last, intelligible line of dialogue in the whole film.

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