Us Reviewing Things

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Us Reviewing Things

Pink

Last in this series of lube reviews is Pink, the silicone lubricant in the Empowered Products stable.

Like the others (Pink Water, Pink Unity), this comes in a well-sealed bottle and it is enhanced with vitamin E and Aloe Vera to make it all good. As with the others, we started the test by rubbing it between our fingers - a good way of establishing how something feels initially. Then we tried it out.

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We-Vibe II

One of my recent purchases, in the pursuit of review-fodder, was a We-Vibe II. If you've been living in a cave, or on another planet for the last few years, you may not have heard of the We-Vibe. It's a c-shaped vibe that slips inside and cups around the pubic bone to vibrate on the clit and the g-spot simultaneously, while being rogered by a penis or dildo. Now we've looked at these longingly since they came on the market a year or so ago, but the cost was, to say the least, prohibitive. That's the trouble with these high-end toys, they tend to come with a high-end price tag too.

Anyway, I managed to find one on sale (almost half the normal price) and quickly snapped it up. I excitedly unwrapped the package when it arrived and read the instructions (you know you've got a high-end sex toy when it comes with instructions). And it was packaged beautifully. It comes with a pretty purple satin pouch to keep it in and a charger to power it. The first thing we had to do was to charge it up. For 24 hours. So there was no playing the first night we had it.

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Bordello

When our last dive into the to-be-watched pile turned up Bordello - The House of the Rising Sun from 1983, we didn't hold out much hope for it. Our experiences with 80s porn to date have not been that good. The last 80s porn we watched was Panty Raid which was a singularly awful film. However, we gritted our teeth, lowered our expectations and popped it into the player. I have to say, we were pleasantly surprised.

Bordello is set, obviously, in a Bordello. In New Orleans. Since The Animals' 1964 hit "House of The Rising Sun", every bordello in every film set in New Orleans is called The House Of The Rising Sun. The song by the way is much, much older than The Animals version. They got it from an old 1940s Lead Belly recording and before him it was a traditional folk song going way, way back. Everyone assumes it's about a New Orleans brothel but historians have been searching for the historical House of the Rising Sun for years (yes... government grants to go looking for brothels) and have come up pretty much empty handed. There have been plenty of Houses of the Rising Sun since the song became a hit but before that, the closest they can find was a French Madam back in the 1800s called Marianne LeSoleil Levant, which translates from the French as "Marianne The Rising Sun". Current theory says that the song isn't about a brothel at all but about the the old Orleans Parish Women's Prison, the entrance to which was decorated with a rising sun design. There you go... porn and education all at once.

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